Where have respect and courtesy gone?
November 6, 2007 by Donna Steinhorn
I recently had an appointment with an endocrinologist that I had to wait over six months to see. When I arrived at the office a few minutes before my scheduled appointment, the waiting room was full. I had been warned that this doctor never ran on schedule, so after I filled out the requisite paperwork, I sat down with a book. As I sat there, several pharmaceutical reps came through the office, and each was passed through to the doctor. Meanwhile, we all sat in the waiting room….waiting.
An hour later, not a single patient had been ushered into the exam rooms. I went up to the counter and asked when I might be expected to be seen. The receptionist looked at the clock and said the doctor was running an hour behind. That was obviously not true, since it was an hour past my appointment time, and there were still seven people ahead of me.
Just to make sure, I asked if all the people there were waiting for the doctor (thinking that perhaps they were there for other tests?) and she reluctantly admitted that they were. I turned and asked the waiting patients how long they had been waiting, and was astounded that many of them had already been waiting OVER THREE HOURS. And that this was the norm for this particular doctor.
I turned to the receptionist and asked for my insurance card and all my paperwork back…I was not going to wait that many more hours. She enquired if I wanted to reschedule…and I replied that it was incredibly rude to have so little respect for her patients that she would make appointments and not even attempt to honor them. She obviously had no respect for our time. I wouldn’t want to be treated by someone who had so little regard for me. As I left the office, I heard some of the patients clapping.
What has happened to common courtesy? Why can’t this doctor (and the many others I have heard about when I shared this story) schedule honestly?
And there are other areas where courtesy has gone astray as well. People no longer seem to think it’s necessary to RSVP to parties and other events. Thank you notes have gone the way of rotary dial phones. People don’t respond to phone calls (let alone to email).
Sad to say this discourtesy applies to all parts of life. Witness it on the highway. In restaurants. Movie theaters. At the highest level of government (and not just in the US.) But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Seems to me that there are two steps we each can do to combat discourtesy. First, don’t stand for it. When someone is being rude and trampling on your boundaries, ask for the respect you deserve. Maybe they don’t even know that they are being rude. And secondly, set an example. Show respect and courtesy at every opportunity. Better yet, go a step further and acknowledge people for the good that they do.
We may not get back the rotary phone, but we can return to a kinder, gentler culture.
I recently left a doctor who was also keeping her patients waiting for over three hours while in front of patients she socialized with the Pharm reps and received bottles of wine and cigars. The waiting room was dirty and she didnt even provide a tv. I was planning on switching to the doctor you mentioned, I waited 4 months for an appointment but after I spoke to you I decided to continue looking. Im am not going to waste my time with another disrespectful doctor.
It seems to be the week for doctor stories. My mom (who is 83) was in the hospital this week. I’ve seen how many health care providers discount the brainpower of the elderly and will instead, talk as if they are not in the room if either my husband or I am there.
Michael was the one who took her to the ER, and the doctor there kept talking to him, not my mom. Finally, my mom got his attention, and told him to go and call her doctor. He did so, and came back with a bemused expression, and began a dialogue with mom. Seems that her doctor told the ER doc that he should “pay attention to this woman, she knows more about medicine and life than most doctors.”