It’s all too much

Martha Beck recently wrote an article in “O” magazine on the anthropological reasons for overwhelm.  She says that ‘”Overwhelm” is increasingly common as demands on human attention increase exponentially. The human brain just wasn’t designed to handle the environment we inhabit. “

I felt like she was talking directly to me.

She goes on to say that throughout the ages, human life has been shaped by scarcity in every area of our lives.  For most of the Western World, at least, that is no longer the case.  ”Yet our brains, instincts, and socialized behavior are still geared to an environment of lack. The result? Overwhelm—on an unprecedented scale.”

We are surrounded by “stuff”.  Bombarded by information in unprecedented amounts.  Even overwhelmed by the amount of opportunities and choices that are open to us.  In “The Paradox of Choice” Barry Schwartz writes about how the abundance of choices “floods our exhausted brains.”   We are faced with an aisle’s worth of cereals, a department store of cosmetics.  Ten pages of choices on restaurant menus.  400 channels on cable television.  It really is all too much.

What to do?

I’ve worked with people who felt that they needed to research every possible option, every possible solution, every possible opportunity, before making a decision.  Good enough is never good enough for them.  And guess what?  As a result they are paralyzed.  Nothing gets done.  Or they worry that if they make one choice, they may miss out on a better one.  They are afraid to buy a computer because next week there might be a new one that has more features, or costs less money.  Afraid to say yes to one beau, because a better one might come along. 

What works is a few things that are simple, but not necessarily easy:

• Accept that good enough REALLY IS good enough most of the time.  Perfection is paralyzing.  My definition of a perfectionist is someone who is always looking for what is wrong so that they can correct it.  Not a good way to live.
• Decide how important a choice really is.  Choosing the right cereal is not that important.  Choosing the right spouse is. 
• Don’t (ever) second-guess yourself.
• Know what criteria are important to you.  That will make it easier to eliminate choices.
• Make choices based on what YOU want, not what others think.
• Rely on knowledgeable friends and reputable resources (e.g. Consumer Reports or Cnet.com) to narrow down the choices for you.
• Don’t go to a department store or Super-Supermarket when a boutique or neighborhood grocer will do.
• Ask yourself with the consequences of a wrong choice will be.  If they are negligible, don’t give the choice much thought.
• Give yourself a time limit for the choice, and decide that when the time’s up, you’ll make the decision based on the information you already have.

Better yet, trust your intuition and be spontaneous…live dangerously some of the time!