Surviving the Holidays with Your Sanity Intact
November 17, 2007 by Donna Steinhorn
Over on Transformational Girlfriends, Susan wrote a post about surviving the holiday season with great suggestions on how to decrease the stress.
I find that for so many folks I work with, the pressure of the holidays (ho ho, oh no) is often about trying to create a fantasy holiday that no lesser human than Martha Stewart could pull off. I gave that all up years ago.
I think there are just a few things you need to survive the holiday season (which nowadays starts two weeks before Halloween.)
First, I think is vitally important is to get in touch with what you really want. Is sending out 100 holiday cards soul-nurturing, or would you really be happier sending a hand written note to a dozen people who really mean something to you? Do you truly enjoy making handmade napkin rings, intricate holiday party invitations, and a five-course sit down dinner for twelve, or would you get more pleasure out of a casual “bring a dish” to brunch gathering? [And there's no harm in making food that's "almost homemade" or even pre-cooked. Seriously!]
It’s also important to note that you don’t have to attend every party you are invited to. You will not be judged by the number of latkes you fry or cookies you bake (Susan, did you really cover an entire extended table with cookies?), nor by the hand-stamped, personalized gift-wrap you use. If it’s fun….do it. If it’s not…don’t.
The holidays should be about enjoyment. Enjoying the music, the friends, the memories you’re creating with your children. Every time you begin to feel that tightness in your chest, or the throbbing in your head – STOP!! Look at what you’re doing, and ask yourself why?? And what you could do instead. Come up with new traditions when the old ones no longer serve you. Simpler ones. Communal ones.
Don’t give up on things you value and priorities because “it’s the holidays.” Too often I see people throw the budget out the window (and deeply regret it in January) because they have to buy expensive gifts (who said?); or they stop doing things that are important to them because of holiday obligations. Doesn’t make much sense.
Above all, keep your sense of humor. In a season that’s supposed to be about the “ho ho ho”, I’m already seeing a lot of “bah humbug”. When you come right down to it, what the holidays are all about are family, friends and good feelings. If you can stay focused on those as your priorities, you’ll arrive at the New Year with your sanity intact.
Yup - it’s all about making wise holiday choices. If it isn’t fun, don’t do it! Cookies used to be fun, and yes, I covered an extended kitchen table more than one year and have the photo to prove it.
When I was younger and had a lot of time but very little money, I gave cookies, quick breads, chocolate covered orange slices and truffles as Christmas gifts. I averaged 15 varieties of cookies and made multiple batches of earch - starting before Thanksgiving and extending through Christmas Eve. My freezer AND my neighbor’s freezer were full. I loved it and my family and friends were overjoyed.
For a while, I branched out to Black Cake - a Jamaican fruit cake that involves steeping more than 5 pounds of dried fruit in a bottle of dark rum and a bottle of kosher (sweet) wine for several moths. This got mixed with a lot of butter, eggs, sugar, and burnt sugar syrup and a very little bit of flour. The result is wonderful.
Now, I’ve passed the truffle recipe on to a cousin, make two kinds of cookies with my niece and do truffles for a select few.
With luck, Donna, this year yours won’t get left in the refrigerator by accident!