Archive for September, 2009

angry peopleWhy are we so angry?

In the past week we’ve watched as our politicians, sports stars and entertainers have behaved in disrespectful and angry ways.

And these are just the public displays of rudeness.  Have you noticed that people don’t respond to invitations anymore?  Don’t call back or respond to emails?  Feel it’s perfectly acceptable to “say what’s on their mind,” regardless of what it is? Be ignored in stores and even in doctor’s offices?

Several weeks ago I had to have a nerve test done in my arm.  I arrived several minutes early for my appointment and approached the desk.  The receptionist was busy chatting with two of the nurses.  Even when she finally noticed my presence, she didn’t acknowledge me in any way…not even a nod.  I timed it, it took seven minutes for her to finally recognize my presence.

To make matters worse, as he was conducting my nerve test, the doctor both took and made cell phone calls?

It seems that anger and rudeness has become an acceptable form of human expression. Civility, respect, courtesy, compassion, empathy, all seem gone from the U.S. society.  We see it in politics (whatever happened to responsible disagreement?) and political campaigns, in road rage, at  school board meetings, in doctor’s offices.  Sadly, everywhere.

And in most of these cases, there’s little or no apology or regret.  If there’s any at all, it’s merely lip service, and often with back-tracking (“I’m sorry people were upset, but I stand behind my position.”)  What’s going on?

Is this merely the next incarnation of the decline of civility?

It used to be that people went to great extremes to be civil…they actually wrote thank you notes. Returned phone calls.  Responded to invitations.  Chatted politely, at least in public.  Then we went through a recent phase were it was almost politically correct to create a scandal, apologize publicly, have to resign, then write a book about it.  [There’s even a new television show based on this premise…The Good Wife.] Now they go straight from scandal and pat apology to writing the book…no need to resign.

When did socially acceptable public behavior become a dinosaur?  Was it the gossip magazines that made celebrities out of the scandalous…an extreme example of no publicity being bad publicity?  Is it a backlash to the decades of Political Correctness?

I’m not sure of the reasons we have descended to such bad behavior, I only know that it’s reached a crescendo pitch.  But maybe that’s a good thing…maybe we needed to hit bottom before we can begin to return to being respectful and civil again.


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The Falling Man…a window on 9/11

Much will be said today in remembrance of 9/11.  This powerful documentary of the search for one falling man brings home once again the very personal tragedy this continues to be. 

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Money & You plus my friend Cherie Clark (who wrote a 600 page dissertation on Bucky for her PhD) have motivated me to learn more about Buckminster Fuller and his ideas.  In my “travels” I came across this delightful and entertaining piece that explains his principles in a easy to digest manner.  Enjoy!

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Money & You and all personal development programs are obviously about change.  In coaching, we say that for a client to be able to change, they must first be aware.  Aware of their patterns, aware of their blocks, aware of their goals, vision and destination.

For some people, the desire to change, learn and grow is innate.  There’s an ever-present desire to improve.  For others, that desire doesn’t come until there’s enough pain or a big enough reason that creates a NEED to change…right…now.

The next step is to take stock of where you are right now.  If you want to become financially abundant, the first thing you need to know is what your current financial status is.  If you want to want to lose weight, you need to know what your current eating habits are…how many calories you typically eat in a day.  You get the idea.

Once you understand your starting point, it’s time to pick a destination, some milestones along the way, and chart a route.   Let’s say you want to be earning $100,000 a year, and your current income is $50,000.  Your milestones might be 60K and 75K.  Your route is the financial model you’ll use to get there.  What are your revenue streams?  What might you add?  What can you do to increase your income?  This is the time to not censor yourself and think creatively.

Now do your homework.  Decide what you need….what kind of support, funding, partners, resources, training, services?  This step is important regardless of whether you’re trying to lose weight, change a habit, learn a language or make more money.

Finally, it’s time to take action.  Start with little steps.  Don’t get stuck in the trap of endless preparation. Stop trying to change. That won’t move you forward.  Take action, and then take another, and another.    As Jedi Master Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no ‘try.'”

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I returned from San Diego, where I attended Money & You, late last night.  Several people have asked me if “I had fun”?  That’s not exactly the right question.  While yes, there were times when we were having fun, there were many more times when we were stretched, perturbed, moved, and running through the entire gamut of emotions.  The right question is “what did you get out of it?” And the answer is too long to put in one post.

The M&Y methodology is not about lectures.  Participants are run through a series of games and debriefing where the learning comes from their experience coupled with some strategic lessons.  It’s a total learning environment which accelerates learning by “appealing” to the right and left sides of the brain at the same time.  [What would the world be like if that’s how our children were taught in school?  While you’re contemplating that, it’s the reason that many home-schooled children excel, because for many that’s the environment instinctively created by their parents.]

One of the ways we learned was by trying and failing….and then trying and failing again, until we got it right.   ————>   Failure = Learning   <————  Of course, we already knew that didn’t we. 😉  https://glimmers.wordpress.com/2007/11/20/commit-to-failure/

Many (most) of the lessons learned at M&Y are based on the principles of Buckminster Fuller.  I know some of what Bucky (as he is affectionately known) taught, but these last few days were like walking through a portal into another world, and have added yet another layer to what I hope to read and learn this year.  And share with you, as I will also in the ensuing days, share some of my take-aways from the most interesting experience that was Money & You.

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